I’ve been doing so well on my Enbrel injections that I started thinking I totally had the hang of it.

Last night, I stuck to the routine. I took my shot out to let it warm up, I tried to relax. I iced my right thigh and sterilized the chosen injection spot. I checked the expiration date and looked to make sure the liquid was clear and the little bubble was acting like it was supposed to. I took the lid off the pen and pressed it to my thigh.

And, boom. My heart starts racing and my thumb REFUSES to press the blue button to release the needle. What the hell? I’ve done this a bunch of times now. I know how much it hurts (yeah, sometimes it hurts quite a bit, but I know I’m able to deal with it).

I actually had to talk myself down from a full on panic attack. And then, of course, I got frustrated at myself for not being able to do something so simple. I put the pen down and paced my apartment, trying to calm my nerves.

Finally, I was ready to try again. Pen on thigh, my thumb pushed the button. NOTHING. I hate when this happens. I mentally prepare for the shot, and you push the button and for some reason it doesn’t release the needle. Ugh.

It took a couple more tries to actually get it. Re-positioning the needle, trying the button… When it finally did go, of course I wasn’t prepared, so I was a little surprised and probably pushed on the needle harder than I should have. End result: painful injection (it stung more than normal, bled a bit, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it bruises), mentally exhausting, and I’m dreading next week.

I don’t want to discourage anyone. There is a part of me that knows the weekly injections are an easy task that I’ve already mastered. I shouldn’t make it such a big deal.

Anyone have any tips for getting over the mental block of self-injecting? Or tips on making the experience less painful? Thanks to all of you! ❤